Please Do Not Feed The Fears
Fear can be a gnawing feeling or an acute experience intending to protect us from harm. While fear is a necessary survival instinct, it often far overreaches its useful capacity and causes a myriad of issues for us. Fear is the generally the primary sponsor of our feelings of anxiety.
Fear in its attempt to protect us, may stop us from taking action and to quote the brilliant Clif Smith “Comfort zones are where dreams go to die.” (Listen to his incredible talk on overcoming fear and using mindfulness at the 2022 Achieving Optimal Health Conference). Stopping us from taking risky but valuable actions is just one of the ways fears may manifest in an unhealthy way.
Many fears have a reasonable or justifiable basis, but truly are they ultimately serving our highest good?
Another of the unhealthy fear-based behaviors almost all of us engage in is ruminating or worrying. This is a prime example of “feeding the fears”. When the fear idea has been triggered, our mind manufactures thought upon thought often going far into an imagined future. However, if we take a step back to reflect on the fearful thoughts we’ve had in the past, we see most of what we imagine in those ruminations are fabrications that never come to fruition.
In this way the untrained mind can easily manufacture misery. While there may be a seed of justifiable fear, this instinct then quickly and unconsciously piles on host of “what if’s” that can send us into anxiety, panic, and stress. If this process repeats unfettered in our lives, it can have very real affects on our mental health, physical health, our relationships, our finances, and our career. For example, the repeated release of stress hormones has well documented effects on our immune system.
This fear pattern is a nearly universal experience- so how we can support the mind to acknowledge fear without allowing it to overreach in such a detrimental way? Like Clif Smith, one of our favorite techniques for reigning in anxious thoughts is mindfulness practice. It is a simple, gentle, and free mothodology that slowly trains the mind. One of the amazing results of using a mindful practice over time is we may find our mind not to going quite so far down the list of what ifs and anxious thoughts. We will still have them, but instead, we can accept the emotion, and try to redirect away from excessive worry and rumination. Using a meditation technique called ‘Focused Attention’ can train the mind to stay in the present, on the breath or in the body. There are many types of meditation, including very simple guided meditations, that can support the mind to take a rest from it’s hard work of trying to protect us from imagined threats.
Some other techniques we love are: tapping aka emotional freedom technique, using affirmations, and talking with a therapist, mentor or trusted friend who can help us identify and process fear.
For some short term easy relief when you are maybe unable to do a full meditation or therapy session is to grab a piece of paper and write a gratitude list. This is a great combination of focusing our attention and affirming the positive and can be done almost anytime anywhere! We like to fill a paper or make a mental list of simple things we are grateful for: my friends, indoor plumbing, clean water etc. simply write until the paper is full. Or if you find your mind really wandering try an alphabetical gratitude list, coming up with something you’re grateful for beginning with A and continuing along the alphabet until you feel your mind has been fully redirected.
If anxiety is causing serious impediment to your functioning consulting a professional is recommended. This blog is not intended to diagnose or treat any clinical or psychological conditions. We all struggle and there are times we need more support.
Here are some additional supports and resources:
Guided Meditations from BB&R on Health Gig
Mindfulness Without the Bells and Beads a book from Clif Smith
Living an Extraordinary Life Using Mindfulness Mark Bertolini Part 1 and Part 2 Podcast