Embracing Middlescence: Redefining Aging for a Joyful Life with Barbara Waxman
In this episode of Health Gig, Tricia and Doro engage in a thought-provoking conversation with Barbara Waxman, a longevity educator, speaker, and wellness coach. Barbara challenges conventional ideas about aging and introduces the concept of middlescence, a period in life when people can redefine their purpose, prioritize self-care, and embrace positive mindset shifts.
The conversation covers a range of topics, from debunking the midlife crisis myth to exploring the importance of energy and the five essential elements of well-being. Barbara's holistic approach and practical advice inspire listeners to view their life stages through an age-agnostic lens, cultivate their energy, and engage with time and relationships in more meaningful ways. The episode offers actionable insights for creating a fulfilling and joyful life at any age.
More on barbara waxman
Website: https://barbarawaxman.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OfficialBarbaraWaxman
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/barbarawaxman/
Quotes:
“The 30 years that we've added to our life expectancy, we tend to think, Oh, I'm old longer, but that is not how we experience those extra 30 years. We experience them in the middle of life. We're not older longer. We're in this vital phase for longer.” - Barbara Waxman
“We live between our ears. We live in our minds. And there's a saying if you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right. Mindset is so important that it actually impacts our life expectancy. When people have a positive mindset about their aging and their longevity, they live, on average, seven and a half years longer.” - Barbara Waxman
”When people don't have rest and renewal, they make mistakes. They say ‘I'm a procrastinator’ and they say that they ‘just don't feel well’. By the way, they're more likely to become ill.” - Barbara Waxman
Show Notes:
Barbara Waxman: I'm one of those people who has followed the threads of the tapestry of my life, and I started in the field of aging.
Barbara Waxman: Every summer I thought I was going to be a nursing home administrator in college, did a perceptions of the elderly thesis, and that was in the 1980s. And by the way, at that time this field of gerontology was in its infancy.
Barbara Waxman: When people can't necessarily find their sense of what we call purpose, and I think we have a national obsession about purpose and get stuck on it when they go back to some of those childhood interests or dreams, there's a lot there to work with.
Barbara Waxman: Purpose is made up of two essential aspects. One I call little purpose. Little purpose are the breadcrumbs that lead you to your big purpose. And it is so important for people to remember that.
Barbara Waxman: Purpose often changes over the course of our lives. I mentioned to Doro as we were starting this recording that right now my family has had a medical situation that's been really tough. So for the last week or a couple of weeks, my big purpose has been to let everything else fall aside and focus on this health crisis that one of my family members is going through.
Barbara Waxman: Big purpose changes over time. And if we're not sure what it is, allow those little purpose breadcrumbs to lead you there.
Barbara Waxman: A few years ago, I took a sabbatical. I called it repotting. I picked up my roots. I planted them in new soil so I could really be infused with the kind of environment to feed me with a new perspective.
Barbara Waxman: I recognized that the 30 years that we all talk about in the demographics, right, the 30 years that we've added to our life expectancy in just the last century, we tend to have some default thinking and think, Oh, I'm old longer, but that is not how we experience those extra 30 years. We experience them in the middle of life. We're not older longer. We're in this vital phase for longer. And this vital phase has gotten a bad rap because no one has lived it before.
Barbara Waxman: We now live long enough that we go through adolescence, which is not a defined age. It's more of a stage, a reckoning twice, sometimes more.
Barbara Waxman: The midlife crisis is a myth. There is no research or data
Barbara Waxman: If you feel like you want to gain back the sexiness you had when you were younger because this times our bodies are morphing, but not necessarily in the greatest ways. Buy aHarley. Buy a Corvette.
Barbara Waxman: It is time for us to own our power. Understand through our life experience that we're resilient. Try it out. If it doesn't work, you'll pick up the pieces.
Barbara Waxman: Time becomes more precious and we start realizing actually things aren't so bad. And I'm going to dare to make the changes that I want to see in my life. People tend to care less about what others think, and so they make the changes. And through our 80s there is a higher self reported sense of happiness in our lives. The midlife crisis is a myth. We do get happier, but it is a transitional time.
Barbara Waxman: We live between our ears, we live in our minds. And there's a saying if you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right. Mindset is so important that it actually impacts our life expectancy.
Barbara Waxman: When people have a positive mindset about their aging, their longevity, they live on average, seven and a half years longer.
Barbara Waxman: Before you get out of bed every morning, take one minute. It doesn't take much time and it changes your world. Think of three things that you're grateful for. I'm grateful for the fact that I'm waking up with no pain in my body because by the time we're middle essence, whether it's through sports, through genetics, through all kinds of reasons, we often wake up and something hurts. It could be something like that, something you're looking forward to gratefulness for your family. It doesn't matter how big or how small. Three things and then three breaths.
Barbara Waxman: What we choose to put our focus on is what we choose to see. You automatically shift yourself towards a different way of being wobbling.
Barbara Waxman: One of the things I really admire about your podcast has to do with its holistic approach to making both individuals and the planet a better, safer, more engaging, connected place. One of the ways to do that is to understand that lifestyle itself is medicine.
Barbara Waxman: When people hire me as a coach, the brand promise is you will get more done in less time and be more joyful. And I have just about 100% success rate, believe it or not, because I take complexity and simplify it.
Barbara Waxman: I'm a big believer in ten minute power rests. It's not really a nap because you don't really sleep, but you just go into a deep relaxation and it's amazing the clarity you come out with. So meditating, we live between our ears. So taking the time every day, at least ten minutes to clear out the cobwebs, listen to a guided meditation, super important. So rest and renewal. Once you do that, then you're entering your day and you're going through your day with that equanimity, that sense of stability, calm and presence. You can handle anything.
Barbara Waxman: exercise every day we are not necessarily meant to go kill it in a gym. None of the longest lived populations that Dan Buettner and others study go to the gym as their form of exercise. What we want to do is get up and down off the floor, hike, don't take your car, be with other people, bundle your activities so that you're in community, move your body and push yourself to exertion. But you don't have to do it at the gym if you're not a gym rat.
Barbara Waxman: We want to grow. We want to stay engaged. We want to stay sharp. Little purpose. If you love music, play music yourself. If you've never been a musician, who cares? Play it for the joy. Play it for the frustration. When you are in flow, it actually has your adrenaline up a little bit. You need to pay attention so that you are learning and engaged in something new. Always focus your attention to shine the light on the things you care to shine a light on and then actively engage with things that make you grow.
Barbara Waxman: I am at a stage where in two weeks my youngest son is getting married. So I'm at a life stage where I've both launched my kids and now I'm being pulled back in with grandchildren to be involved. And it's beautiful.
Barbara Waxman: I really want to promote this idea in the workplace, in our personal lives, in our families, of connecting generations and connecting people based on who we are. Not an age signifier because it really isn't that meaningful.
Barbara Waxman: ageism is getting pushed out because finally companies are saying we can't afford to let people go. We need to meet their needs. So that's one. Companies are also recognizing that there's been a what they're calling an HR, a brain drain. It's great to have young people, but the emotional intelligence, the learning from our failures, which only happens with time on the planet, if we lose all that, then companies will struggle because they'll go through the same mistakes over and over. So I'm helping companies recognize how to build bandwidth and connect those generations.
Barbara Waxman: Typically by listening to wonderful podcasts like yours or going to my website, Barbara waxman.com probably is the best way to get information and look at the free resources.
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